Signs Your Neighbors Don't Like You
When you choose a home, there are lots of factors to consider. There is the neighborhood, the size of the home, its location, school districts and more. But one factor that can really make or break your living situation is those who live around you.
Neighbors can be a great help sometimes. But other times, you might find your neighbors aren’t very neighborly. But how do you tell if they just aren’t very social or if your neighbors don’t like you?
If neighbors avoid you, never invite you over and decline invitations to come to your home, they likely don’t want to be friends. When neighbors talk about you behind your back, are argumentative and disrespectful, they probably don’t care for you. If they never make eye contact, leave passive aggressive notes and even call the cops on you, then you can almost guarantee they don’t like you.
Having a friendly neighbor is a great asset. They check in on your home when you are away and look out for packages for you when you are at work. But neighbors are not always kind and friendly.
In fact, sometimes your neighbors might not like you. But this harsh reality is not always easy to spot. If you are wondering if your neighbors dislike you, or are only just a little shy, read the following signs that your neighbors don’t like you to make a better determination.
15 Signs That Your Neighbors Don’t Like You
1. You Hear They Talk Negatively About You Behind Your Back
One of the biggest, and all too common, red flags and warning signs that your neighbors don’t like you is negative gossip. If you hear through the grapevine that there are rumors or negative words being said about you, then there is a bad apple in your neighborhood.
Nosy neighbors gossiping is fairly common, but when that gossip is constantly negative and pointed at you, you should take note, and approach those neighborly relationships with caution.
2. They Are Noticeably Avoiding You
Another sign that your neighbors don’t like you is when you notice them dodging and avoiding you. Sure, people get busy and don’t always have time to stop for pleasantries. But if you see your neighbors in the hallway, driveway or otherwise, and they consistently go in their house or the opposite direction, this is a sign they might not like you.
It is common courtesy to say hello or wave to your neighbor. If you see your neighbor in public at the grocery store and they pretend not to know you instead of saying hello, then the odds are something is up.
3. No Waving, Smiles Or Eye Contact
Body language, or the lack of it, is another way to “read” your neighbors and find out if they like you or not. If they hug you, shake your hand and smile as a first reaction to seeing you, odds are they like you.
If, however, you never get a smile, they don’t wave or wave back, and struggle to make eye contact, there could be a problem. Keep in mind many people are shy and guarded, so perhaps your neighbor is just not very social.
But if you notice a change in body language that trends negatively, then there might be some negative feelings in the air.
4. They Call The Cops On You Without Good Reason
One clear sign that your neighbors don’t like you is if they call the police on you without good reason. If, for example, you happen to have a gathering at your home and there is some loud music, this can be a bit annoying for others. But if it’s not too loud or late in the evening, it is rarely illegal.
If your neighbors call the police on you rather than asking you to turn the music down, or move a car that is parked incorrectly, then you have a clear breakdown in neighborly communication. Calling the police, especially more than once, is never a good way to build a relationship.
5. You Receive Notes Rather Than Having Conversations
Passive aggressive notes are essentially the opposite of a love note. If you get passive aggressive or otherwise negative notes left on your car or in your door, this is a bad sign.
A neighbor who would rather leave an angry note than speak to you shows they are not terribly interested in maintaining a positive relationship with you. In fact, it shows they probably don’t like speaking with you.
6. Constantly Shooting Down Your Ideas
If you have a neighborhood organization of HOA then you likely meet with your neighbors as a group from time to time. These gatherings, ideally, are a meeting of like-minded people who want positive change in the community.
If, however, you find that every time you speak or have an idea the same neighbors are shooting down or belittling what you say, take note. This kind of behavior is a sign that you and your opinions are not respected by these people.
7. Big Arguments Over Small Issues
Arguing with your neighbor is never fun. This is especially true when it is over petty little things. If you find that you try to bring problem solving to your neighbor and it always escalates to an angry argument that feels unnecessary, then your neighbor probably doesn’t like you. Further, you probably just have a bad neighbor.
8. You’re Never Invited Over
Whether it’s a summer barbecue or a holiday get-together, you and your neighbors are bound to have some events that involve inviting over some people from the neighborhood.
If you find that your neighbor invites some neighbors over from time to time but you never get an invitation, then perhaps you should take the hint. It almost always means you are not particularly liked if you are never invited.
9. Problems With Boundaries And Property Lines
Property lines and boundaries are often the root cause of neighbor disputes. But when property lines slowly turn into battle lines, it can get to an entirely different level. A disagreement can lead to what feels like an all-out war.
If you find yourself in any sort of on-going property or boundary battle with a neighbor, you can almost guarantee that you two are not going to be friendly or see eye to eye unless the issue is resolved amicably.
10. They Never Accept Your Invitations
It is also a sign your neighbors don’t like you when they don’t accept any of your invitations. If you have invited the same neighbor or neighbors to several functions and they never RSVP or even drop by, then they might just not like you very much.
11. They Don’t Give Or Accept Gifts
If you try to bring your neighbor some vegetables from your garden, but they refuse to take it, this is a weird sign. It could mean a few things, like perhaps they are germaphobic and don’t accept those sorts of gifts. It could also mean they don’t want to feel like the “owe” you. Either way, if they have never given a gift and don’t accept any in return, this is a sign you and your neighbors might be at odds a bit.
12. Only Say Hello When They Need Something
If your neighbors never speak to you, but are suddenly very talkative when they need something, approach with caution. This could be your neighbor simply trying to build a relationship with you. It could also, however, just be a greedy neighbor who is opportunistic.
If you find your neighbor is never kind except when they need something, you might consider surrounding yourself with more appreciative neighbors.
13. You Have Unresolved Issues
If you have had some struggles with your neighbors in the past, make sure it is actually in the past. Often, we move on from arguments or issues and assume the other party has as well. But if you find that the same issue is still talked about, then your neighbor is probably still not over it. You should work to resolve it if you are interested in your neighbor liking you.
14. They Are Disrespectful About Noise And Guests
If your neighbors are constantly being loud at all hours of the day and night, and having guests who park where they shouldn’t, take note. This is not the behavior of someone who likes or respects you.
Perhaps you simply need to have a conversation and let them know how their behavior affects you. But if said behavior continues, you can bet these neighbors don’t like or respect you much. At least not enough to change.
15. There Is No Answer At The Door And They Are Home
Lastly, if your neighbors go so far as to not answer the door when you come calling, consider it a wrap. They clearly don’t like you. Avoidance in the neighborhood is one thing, but pretending as if they are not home is another. If your neighbors refuse to answer the door when you walk over for a friendly chat, then you should maybe move on to another neighbor. These ones are not likely to be your friends.
Final Thoughts On Signs Your Neighbors Don’t Like You
The are several signs that suggest your neighbors don’t care for you and include them avoiding you. They also include declining your invitations and never inviting you over. If you have unresolved issues, arguments over small issues or battles over property lines, this is a bad sign. If they call the cops on you or spread rumors, you can pretty much guarantee you and your neighbor aren’t friends.
Related Guides:
Tom Gaffey is an expert writer who currently resides in Washington D.C. Tom has a passion for real estate and home improvement writing, as well as travel and lifestyle writing. He lived the last twelve years in Hawaii where he worked closely with luxury resorts and event planners, mastering his knowledge of aesthetics and luxury products. This is where he found his passion for home improvement and a keen interest in DIY projects. Currently, Tom resides in Washington D.C, and also working on his debut fiction novel.
More by Tom Gaffey
